Ina Teves, Organizational Development Consultant

Ina Teves is an organizational development consultant with a change management firm dedicated to making a difference wherever it goes by journeying with the client through the entire process of organizational transformation. Email your questions to ina.b.teves@gmail.com.

Should I be part of an office romance?

Dear Ina,

We have a small barkada at work where we do the usual stuff of having lunch together and getting together after hours. I’ve become close to one of them, and lately, we’ve been going out by ourselves, and our friends have thoughtfully allowed us our space. I think we’re headed for something more committed. My only problem is we work in the same department.

Tintin

Dear Tintin,

With millions of young and single persons entering the workplace every year – and spending most of their waking hours there – office romances are bound to happen (and not just to the young – or single). I know many couples who’ve met at work and gotten married. I know an equal number for whom workplace relationships spelled disaster for both the workplace and the relationship. A few tips to make it work for you:

1. Check out your company culture. What does it say in your company handbook? Is it categorically forbidden? Could you be fired for it? If yes, stay discreet. If no, stay discreet. Public displays of affection at work make you look unprofessional.
2. At work, stay focused on the work. Now is a critical time to show that you’re able to deliver results. If your boss knows of your relationship, he’ll be watching you. If people in the office know, they’ll all be watching you. So, no love letters in the inbox, please. No unnecessary phone calls. Stay away from his work area if you have no work to discuss with him.
3. Check for conflict of interest. Could either of you later be perceived as guilty of collusion, fraud, breach of confidentiality with regards to company matters? Could your relationship cause other office workers to doubt your integrity?
4. Do not date the boss. Do not date your subordinate. You didn’t mention whether you were of the same rank. Office romances are complicated enough without power coming into the equation. It could disrupt work. It could demoralize other workers. There will be problems with your perceived fairness. There could be problems with sexual harassment later on.
5. Level off on expectations with your partner. Agree on how you should behave. Agree on who to share this with or whether you want the office to know. Agree on how to handle disagreements. If you are uncomfortable discussing this, then carefully consider whether having that romance is worth the risk to your career.

Always,