Teri Burgos-Gutierrez, Corporate Trainer

Teri Gutierrez is a corporate trainer, author, speaker, and web columnist. She can be reached at gutierrez_teri@yahoo.com.

"ASSERTIVENESS: THE KEY TO A PROFESSIONAL APPEARANCE
AND PRESENCE"

“We need to stop looking at work as simply a means of earning a living and start realizing it is one of the elemental ingredients of making a life.” Luci Swindoll

We are living in the Age of Globalization. Many traditional values are being ridiculed and questioned. In the midst of the dramatic changes around us, it is still difficult to know how to behave and respond when we are asked for our opinion about these changes. Unless we assert ourselves, not only in communication, but in actions and silent signals as well, we may find it difficult to cope up with these changes. Our roads to achievement and self-fulfillment may be filled with obstacles, detours and blocks.

The term assertiveness means “the confident putting forward of one’s self, opinions, claims, or rights.” The “self” is given so much emphasis here. When we are assertive, we allow people to know how we feel in an honest, true, and open manner. An assertive person takes full responsibility for his feelings and for allowing others to know how he feels. It also means that we respect others and ourselves as well. Assertiveness is a normal form of behavior. All of us have opinions, beliefs, values, thoughts and rights that affect others. Assertive people are those who realize their own needs and wants. They make these known to others clearly and confidently. Assertive people accept the fact that others have the equal right to self-assertiveness.

Developing Assertiveness

A. Be good and caring to yourself. Congratulate and praise yourself for a job well done. Don’t be hesitant to express your happiness even for just the simple things in life. Express your feelings. Don’t keep it to yourself. Verbalize them. A few examples are:

1. I am very happy!
2. Today is a beautiful day!
3. I feel great!
4. I am so excited!
5. I am so overwhelmed!

B. Don’t hesitate to show gratitude or appreciation to others. Listed are simple ways to say “thank you.”

1. Thank you very much.
2. Thanks a million!
3. I really appreciate all you are doing.
4. You are such a great help.
5. How can I ever thank you.

C. Be generous with compliments. Here are a few expressions of kind praises/acknowledgements.

1. You look so very pretty!
2. What a lovely dress!
3. You are very handsome!
4. You have a beautiful home!
5. The food tastes so good!

D. Always accept compliments from other people.

E. Be willing to show your loved ones how much they mean to you. Here are simple gestures that can be done.

1. Listen
2. Smile
3. Touch
4. Observe eye contact
5. Develop a pleasant voice tone

Remember that being assertive is your right and that being one gives you the sound of authority and confidence! Assert your right! Be more confident!

“Condition yourself to determine clearly in your mind the goal that you want to achieve, and then, without letting yourself get sidetracked, head straight for your ideal.” --Dale Carnegie