Say It, Don't E-mail It
By Marion Marking

Marion Marking is editor in chief at ChinaBusiness-Philippines magazine, which publishes monthly in English and Chinese and is available at National Bookstore, Powerbooks, Fully Booked, leading newsstands nationwide, and online via http://ChinaBusinessPhilippines.com. She can be reached at m.marking@fairnewsmedia.com.

A wise man once said, “Never write when you can talk. Never talk when you can nod. And never put anything in an e-mail.”

I bet if you think back over missteps in your workplace relations, you will find many instances when talking it out would've done less damage than firing off e-mail or pop-up/chat messages at the other party. Online “talking” may be more convenient, but nothing beats a face-to-face conversation.

Now some may argue that in using e-mail you can, at least, edit out your irritation. But no matter how dry or professional sounding your message is, believe me, some hint of your annoyance is bound to show through.

Besides, it takes less time and effort to walk over to the offending colleague, ask them into an empty conference room, and thresh the matter out.

A face-to-face conversation beats out an e-mail message for the following reasons:

1. Body language – You have the benefit of reading the body language of the other person. Is your colleague hurt, offended, annoyed, totally uninterested? Does he understand your point? And it goes both ways. You can let the other person know you're willing to listen and are sympathetic, which you will find difficult to do via any kind of electronic message, emote icons notwithstanding.

2. Immediate response – It's certainly less stressful to get an immediate answer to your concerns. Annoyance can easily turn into full blown anger when you've had time to stew. Rather than firing off an e-mail to deal with your irritation, simply pull the person aside as soon as you can and listen to his explanation. You may discover that it was YOU who misunderstood things and there was no cause for being annoyed after all.

3. No paper trail – As you react or respond to an issue throughout the course of its resolution, you may use words you will later regret using. A spoken word lasts only as long as it is remembered. And when everyone has cooled down (and new issues crop up) this may mean a very short time. But the minute you write something out and send it electronically, you immediately prolong its shelf life. What you write can remain in the other person's (not to mention your boss' or HR manager's) inbox forever and cause negative feelings whenever other people read it.

Remember, what you write can be interpreted a thousand ways, which means room for 999 errors! So the next time you feel like firing off an e-mail at a colleague who did you wrong, think twice.