The Chinese Way
By Marion Marking

Marion Marking is editor in chief at ChinaBusiness-Philippines magazine, which publishes monthly in English and Chinese and is available at National Bookstore, Powerbooks, Fully Booked, leading newsstands nationwide, and online via http://ChinaBusinessPhilippines.com. She can be reached at m.marking@fairnewsmedia.com.

Whether you're Chinese or not, chances are you will have prolonged dealings with someone from China—either professionally or socially—in your lifetime.

Now, I'm not talking about Tsinoys (Chinese Filipinos), who have virtually the same requirements for social behavior as Filipinos and/or Westerners, albeit with slight variations in volume and familiarity. I'm talking about those whom Tsinoys jokingly refer to as G.I. (Genuine Instik! By the way, better not say “instik” out loud if you aren't one. A Tsinoy may be within earshot and it is still, generally, regarded as an insult.)

Here are three things to remember when in the company of the Chinese:

1. Don't be offended when asked if you've eaten. For some Pinoys, being greeted by such a question isn't offensive. But for more Westernized Filipinos, this may be considered poor manners—just slightly less offensive than being asked where they're going.

It isn't so much that eating is terribly important to the Chinese (although many transactions do center around food), it's a matter of history. Poverty once swept through most of China and families could only eat once or twice a day, and meager meals at that. So when the Chinese met each other, they would show concern by asking if the other has eaten. Through the years, it became the standard greeting, Chifanle meiyou? (Have you eaten?)

2. Don't be shocked by a push or a shove when surrounded by a crowd of Chinese. It's actually okay to push back some, just not so much that you maim the other person! Oh, and expect to be pushed or shoved whether you're male or female.

The Western sense of personal space simply doesn't exist in a crowd of Chinese—same thing with the definition of a crowd. Say, there are only two or three of you and you happen to be the only non-Chinese, and you're caught in the middle (taking a photo of a famous landmark, for instance) expect some (unwarranted) jostling even then.

3. It's okay to propose a toast to practically everyone at your table. And if someone on your left, for example, raises their glass to a person on your right, then stand up and join them in the toast—or simply smile at them both and endure it—no matter how long it is!

The equivalent of the Western “Cheers!” is Gan bei! It means “bottoms up” or, literally, “dry glass.” But you don't have to really empty your glass. You can say “gan bei” and just take a sip. This is especially true if you're outside China or in more cosmopolitan places like Shanghai, or even Beijing.

If you wish, you can drink some and say, “Ban bei!” instead, which translates to “half a shot.”

More on the Chinese way in the latest issue of ChinaBusiness-Philippines out in July.